


Conan Gray x NCT

by tellmesomethinginteresting



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cheating, M/M, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Sad Ending, conan gray songs, kid krow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23302303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tellmesomethinginteresting/pseuds/tellmesomethinginteresting
Summary: Each chapter goes to one couple and is based on one song from Conan Gray's debut album "Kid Krow". Please go listen to it. It's amazing. But be warned: it's heartbreaking.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Kudos: 12





	1. Heather

**Author's Note:**

> This album has made me want to write for the first time in six months, even though it's so sad and angsty and almost exclusively about heartbreak. But maybe that is why it made me want to write.  
> All of the songs/stories are written about someone who doesn't feel or act like the storyteller wants them to. I'd recommend listening to the songs beforehand and maybe you could guess who the couple is going to be and whose perspective I'll write from. At the end of the chapter, I'll explain how I chose but it'll mostly be a gut feeling type of thing. Maybe I'll even do multiple couples for one song depending on how much I'll listen to them.

**But you like her better. Wish I were Heather.**

  
**Watch as she stands with her holding your hand. Put your arm ‘round her shoulder, now I’m getting colder.**

  
He was with Heather now. They were standing next to each other all giggly and happy and disgusting. The perfect couple. Haechan turned his head away. He couldn’t bear to look at them. Happiness just radiating off them. It made him feel physically sick. It made him want to throw up. It made him feel all shivery and feverish. He felt like someone was burning a hole in his stomach. Like someone was pulling out his heart through his throat.

  
**You gave her your sweater, it’s just polyester.**

  
Not because Mark had his arm around her shoulder. Not because they were laughing and happy and clearly in love, while Haechan was lonely and bitter and obsessed with someone who clearly didn’t like him back. Not because Mark had been holding her hand for the entire day as if she would fly away if he didn’t.  
Haechan turned his head because she was wearing Mark’s sweater. Haechan turned his head because of December third. Because that had been the day on which Haechan had worn that same sweater. That same cheap, polyester piece of crap that had made him feel like the most important boy in the world, a world in which Heather didn’t exist.

  
**But how could I hate her? She’s such an angel. But then again, kinda wish she were dead.**

  
That perfect, mesmerizing, beautiful bitch. Everyone loved her and her bright smile that made you feel like the sun was shining on your face and that she was kind to everyone and that she actually listened when you talked to her. She was warm and nice and all good things a person could be, while Haechan was spiteful and angry and his jealousy brought out the worst in him.

  
**Why would you ever kiss me? I’m not even half as pretty.**

  
So why had Mark given him his sweater on December third? And why had he told Haechan that he looked better in it? And why had he kissed Haechan? With chapped lips. Tasting like mint toothpaste and smelling like the joint they had shared before. When Heather was the one, he had wanted all along. When Heather was the one, who had him mesmerized all along. When Heather was the one, whose hand he wanted to hold. When Heather was the one, he wanted to give his sweater to all along.

  
**She’s got you mesmerized, while I die.**

  
And more importantly, why hadn’t Haechan told him then how much he liked him. And his chapped lips. And the kiss. And how much he hated Heather. And how much he hated anyone Mark even looked at. And how much he would hurt seeing them together now. And how much he loved that cheap, polyester piece of crap that dared call itself a sweater. But maybe that was the point.

  
**It’s just polyester.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "Heather" just gave me high school vibes. Probably because of the movie which I'm going to guess inspired the name. But it's also possible that he chose the name because it rhymes with sweater. Thinking high school my mind immediately went to the Dreamies because duh. I know most of them aren't in school but still. My first and my last, anyone? Thinking about the Dreamies I kept getting stuck on Mark when thinking about who would fall in love with Heather. He just seems like the type of guy to be oblivious to how much another person, here it's Haechan, likes him. Also, boy gives off mad straight energy. Furthermore, Haechan seems like the type of person to turn hurt into anger. I obviously don't know him in real life, so don't see this as me putting emotions in his head. This is a work of fiction. Writing from his perspective I drew a lot from my own experiences with jealousy and I'm happy with how it turned out because it feels real. Jealousy is an ugly emotion and brings out the worst in us.


	2. The Cut That Always Bleeds

**“I don’t love you anymore” a pretty line that I adore**

**'Cause you keep me on a rope and tied a noose around my throat** **, you're gone then back at my door**

“We just don’t want the same things,” Doyoung had shouted over the synth sounds of the song playing in their favorite club. Watching him make his way through the dancing crowd, Jaehyun had felt his heart beating in his chest. And he had felt it get stronger and stronger, finally merging with the pounding bass of the song until it felt like he was being beaten from inside and out. Bruises sprouting all over his body, his arms, his face, his heart.

But Doyoung had been back and he had held Jaehyun until his heart had beat in a normal rhythm again. He had kissed the bruises until they were gone. He had smiled and music had been beautiful once again. But still, Jaehyun hadn’t felt the same way in Doyoung’s arms.

“It’s not you, it’s me,” Doyoung had said while they sat in their favorite park drinking coffee. Watching him walk away, Jaehyun had felt a noose around his neck tightening. The further Doyoung had got away, the tighter the noose had become until Jaehyun had been unable to breathe. Until there had been no oxygen left in his lungs. Until it had felt like his chest was on fire.

But Doyoung had been back and he had loosened the noose. He had breathed the air back into Jaehyun’s lungs until the pain was gone. He had put out the fire and he had held Jaehyun until he had been able to breathe on his own and the world had been beautiful once again but a little bit duller at the same time.

**Can't live another minute bleedin' from my back 'cause I don't have another one for you to stab**

“There’s someone else,” Doyoung whispered and packed his things. Once the door had closed behind him, Jaehyun started bleeding from a stab wound in his back. The blood quickly started making its way down turning his white shirt scarlet. Jaehyun leaned against the wall because the world started to spin around him. Suddenly, he was lying on the floor. And still, there was blood gushing out of him. It started to pool around him, sticky and warm.

He did nothing but lie on the floor and watch the blood flow out of him for the entire night and the entire next day and the entire next week. He was waiting for Doyoung to come back, to kiss him, to tell him it was going to be okay, to put a bandage on his back.

But time passed and Doyoung didn’t come. And some more time passed and still Doyoung didn’t come. And some more time passed and Jaehyun got up. He showered off the blood and put a bandage on his back. And some more time passed and Jaehyun’s wound started to heal, closing up a little day by day. And despite popular belief distance doesn’t make the heart grow fonder.

Maybe this wasn’t the worst thing that could have happened, Jaehyun started to think. This hurt, but it would stop hurting eventually. He would stop bleeding eventually. His back would heal eventually. And maybe, he would meet someone new, someone, who was brave enough to let themselves have what they wanted.

**As Long As You Don't Leave**

Until he realized that he was lying to himself. Until Doyoung knocked on his door once again and Jaehyun was all too happy to let him back in. To open up his arms and heart. Because he knew that he would be anything Doyoung needed him to be. That he needed him like the air he breathed. Despite the fact that it was killing him and that Doyoung would never need him back the same way.

Because some cuts never heal. They bleed and bleed and …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DoJae is that typical Bias-Biaswrecker pairing for me. I love Doyoung to death. He's probably one of my favorite idols out there. And I don't even know where to begin with our "Foreign Swagger" Jeffrey. Making one of them the "villain" of this story was kind of hard but keep in mind that there's something going on in every person's life that you know nothing about. I kind of address that in a throwaway line but whatever. I like writing Doyoung as the tragic one. I don't know why. Maybe because he reminds me of myself and I'm an angsty bitch so there's that. Also, I'm in love with Jae, so I assume all my writing about these two is projection.


End file.
